Bleeding wrists crying out in screaming anguish pain and sorrow felt from piercing blades into one's own skin. Please Lord save me. Please hear my cry for healing. Will you watch me writh in pain before you, my creator, my saviour. Oh Lord, I am not pleasing in your eyes. I am worthless to you. Make me useful! make me clean. Let me give up everything for your glory. My eyes are dry Holy Father. I give my all for you. Save me. Please help a poor sinful scum of what should be your servant. Its painful to have these memories haunt me and my dreams. It hurts. It shrinks my love. A combination of dispear and hurt. Pain with hate. If had to say one thing on earth was hell i twould be emotional pain. Something that has been toture in the past years of my life. Did David cry ou to you like this Lord? Am I unholy to cry out to you like this? With a broken and aching heart? You are the only one who can heal me. My head throbs with an acho of sleepless nights whereas my heart pounds worthlessly to the beat of a nonexisting life. I have been failing. My heart is stone but now it shatters like glass beneath a hammer. What is the purpose of life if not a hammber crushing your heart and god healing it? NOTHING! The center of our soulds is but God's clay in which he molds us. I stand here as a christian, a believer and follwer of Christ struggling to give up everything for him. Even my pain to take on his joy. To reflect him to others. To be able to shine. He is my dentity. He is who I am. We're jointas once. He i inside of me. You have saved me by amazing grace God of all. Let me sruggle no more let me please you for the rest of m life and the rest of eternity. Let me serve you with a zealous heart that will bow to only you. Thank you Father you are my true love. And I almost missed you. I praise you o Perfect One. I praise the King of My Life. I pray as I write wanting nothing but to fall down before your thrown and worship you. I am a destroyed man made new by an unfathomabl mercy only given to those who truly believe. I pray for those who have pain in their lives Lord. Bring them to me so I can show them you and comfort them with your Godly hugs. I think this is my calling Lord but lead me where you want me. I am your servanwanting to be humbled before you. My heart is yours and you healed it. You are my proof of a new life. You are the one who is my heart. let us become like you and David. Let me have passion that convicts me and will never give me rest until I have pleased you in every way possible. Let me be yours.